Is caring for a loved one beginning to feel like a wallop to your wallet? AARP estimates that family caregivers spend an average of $7,242 out-of-pocket each year. Your family member’s needs may also force you to reduce work hours or quit your job, affecting your present income and your savings for retirement.

Here are a few strategies to help manage caregiving costs:

Create a budget and use available benefits. Create a budget for caregiving expenses and track them separately. (This makes tax filing easier!) See if your employer offers flexible hours or paid family leave so you can keep working. Check with your relative’s Area Agency on Aging (AAA) for support in learning about local caregiver aid programs.

Leverage tax benefits. Review your caregiving expenses to see if you can claim your relative as a “dependent.” If so, you can deduct many expenses. Also consider creating a flexible spending account to cover their healthcare costs.

Seek government support. Review your loved one’s assets to see if they qualify for programs through Medicaid or Veterans Affairs. Medicaid services vary from state to state. Contact the office nearest your relative to learn about state programs, which can include payment for home care.

Ask for help and use community resources. Ask family members for help with either hands-on caregiving or paying for outside help. Instead of everyone buying Mom another scarf for her birthday, put that money into a fund for her care. Search for programs offered by local agencies and nonprofits. Many offer free or low-cost services such as respite care or transportation. Some service and/or fellowship organizations (e.g., Rotary, Lions) also have programs for eldercare.

Plan ahead. Keep an eye on your financial future and care needs. Look into long-term care insurance or an employer eldercare savings account. Consider professional guidance.

Providing loving care doesn’t have to mean financial hardship for you. Taking these steps may help ease the strain.

Is caregiving affecting your finances?
Caring for a loved one often comes with financial challenges—higher daily expenses, reduced income, and less opportunity to save for your retirement. At Compassionate Community Care, we provide resources to help you navigate the financial impact of caregiving. Our team is dedicated to supporting caregivers like you through these difficult choices. Reach out today at (415) 921-5038 to learn how we can help you manage caregiving without sacrificing your financial stability.

Imagine living in a home you’ve known for years but that suddenly feels unfamiliar and confusing. This is the reality for many people with cognitive impairment. If you care for someone with dementia, you may be wondering how to help them continue living at home as they decline. Start by creating an environment that supports both their safety and comfort.

There are basic strategies to use throughout the house. Remember that not only memory changes, but also spatial awareness and depth perception. So, simplify: Remove clutter. Use soothing colors, no busy patterns, and contrasting colors to emphasize a change in surface (door vs. wall, a step vs. floor). Good lighting is important, but eliminate glare. Also fix any odd hinge squeaks or sounds that might be confusing.

Then look at things room by room. Here are some suggestions:

• Living room. Remove throw rugs, which are a fall hazard, and any seldom-used furniture. Put their favorite chair in clear view of the kitchen or bathroom. Keep familiar items such as photos, a clock, or a calendar that make it feel like home.
• Kitchen. Open shelving or see-through cabinets make it easier to find items. Label closed storage with pictures or words. Stove coils can be replaced with temperature-limiting burners. Many smart appliances have automatic shut-off or large digital displays for reminder messages.
• Bathroom. Install grab bars near the toilet and in the shower. A raised toilet seat can ease sitting/standing. Add contrasting colors to bathroom fixtures such as the toilet seat and faucet handles. Clearly label hot and cold faucets. Motion lights can reduce falls.
• Bedroom. Add labels to drawers and closets to aid memory and organization. Ensure the bed is at a comfortable height. Add a soft night-light as a guide to the bathroom. Remove any throw rugs.
• Outdoors. Clear pathways in the garden or yard, ensuring they are well lit and easy to navigate. Install secure gates if wandering is a concern. If you want to discourage them from leaving the house alone, camouflage door handles leading to the exterior.

Involve your loved one in the decision making whenever possible­. It’s their home, after all. You can make many of these changes yourself, but professional help is available. Occupational therapists or aging-in-place specialists can assess specific needs and make recommendations. Some updates may require a contractor or handyman.

Is home comfortable for a loved one with dementia?
Creating a dementia-friendly environment can make a big difference. As the San Francisco experts in family caregiving, we at Compassionate Community Care understand your loved one’s needs and can provide resources for creating a home that supports independence and well-being. Contact us at (415) 921-5038 to learn more.

Junk mail creates an annoying and potentially dangerous situation for older adults, especially if they have dementia or mild cognitive impairment. It’s not just about clutter; important bills or tax notices can get overlooked, leading to missed payments or double payments. Worse, your relative might fall victim to a financial scam or be tempted to buy things they don’t need.

Tackling this issue requires two steps.

Reduce unwanted mail getting to your loved one. Start with these services:

• Eliminate prescreened credit offers—a huge risk for identity theft—through OptOutPrescreen.com. This will also stop insurance offers that might otherwise confuse and worry your relative, especially those that mention “Medicare.”
• Cancel catalogs through catalogchoice.org.
• Take opt-out action on behalf of your family member through the DMAchoice.org “Caretaker” registry. You can also opt out of spam email.

If undesired mail continues to arrive, contact the companies directly to request removal.

Protect important mail. One option is to rent your loved one a private mailbox at a neighborhood mailbox store. This would keep important mail such as bills and personal letters from getting mixed with other mail. Consider going paperless for recurring expenses (this requires tracking bills online).

When sorting mail, have your relative throw away what’s not needed and shred anything that has sensitive information. Then, organize the “good” mail into categories. Start with bills that need to be paid, items that require follow-up, invitations, and coupons or useful catalogs. Review them weekly with your loved one.

If managing this process becomes too overwhelming or you are a long-distance caregiver, consider the services of a daily money manager. These bonded and insured professionals can manage mail and bills. This provides stress relief for you. And less financial risk and clutter for your relative. Peace of mind is priceless!

Is “snail mail” creating clutter?
Junk mail can lead to missed bills and potential scams, especially for older adults. At Compassionate Community Care, we offer solutions to protect against financial risks. As the San Francisco experts in family caregiving, we can help you stay organized and stress free. Call us to learn more at (415) 921-5038.

Many of us have the habit of procrastination. We stall rather than move forward decisively. Ultimately, of course, decisions are made and things get done. But we tend to heap on self-criticism about having put things off.

All that self-criticism is in fact misguided. Research indicates that berating oneself actually seems to promote procrastination! It turns out that putting things off isn’t rooted in laziness or bad time management. Rather, it stems from fear of failure or fear of others’ judgment of our performance. A Princeton study suggests that “self-compassion” may be a more fruitful path to getting things done.

If you find yourself procrastinating, try this approach to feeling better (and doing more!):

• Check your self-talk. Instead of commanding yourself to “just get on with it,” listen consciously to your inner voice. You might discover thoughts such as, “I have to call health insurance about Mom’s bill! But I always feel so dumb when I talk with them.” Or, “Dad’s bedroom is a mess. I should clean it, but Sis will just find something wrong with what I’ve done.”
• Put it in perspective. You’re not unwilling to do the task, you just don’t want to end up feeling stupid or inadequate. That’s not “bad,” that’s just human and understandable!
• Give yourself realistic, gentle support. Acknowledge that anxiety and fear of criticism are the culprits. Rewrite your internal script more positively. For example, “It’s perfectly okay to have questions about Mom’s bill. It doesn’t mean I’m dumb. Insurance bills are complicated. It’s the company’s job to explain the statement if it isn’t clear.” Or, “It doesn’t feel good when Sis says those things. I need to take a deep breath and let it go. Just because we do things differently doesn’t mean that I don’t do a good-enough job.”

Having trouble getting everything done?
As the San Francisco experts in family caregiving, we at Compassionate Community Care understand the tendency to put things off. There’s so much to do and only 24 hours in the day! If you are having trouble getting everything done, let us help with the eldercare side of your to-do list. Give us a call at (415) 921-5038. You don’t have to do this alone.

Being a family caregiver has plenty of sweet moments, but that doesn’t mean it isn’t also emotionally challenging. It’s often stressful when you are searching for answers, wondering if you’re doing enough, and coping with the confusion of your changing relationship.

Here are five strategies to help you stay grounded and calm while caring for a loved one. Try them one at a time and notice what works best for you:

1. Practice self-compassion. Listen to your self-talk and be as kind to yourself as you would be talking to a friend. Eliminate perfection as a goal. Small acts of kindness, whether toward others or yourself, can soothe and boost your mood.
2. Connect with others. Share your feelings with friends, caregiver support groups, or a therapist to lighten your emotional load. Find a group through National Alliance for Caregiving, Family Caregiver Alliance, or the Hospice Foundation of America. Many health organizations, such as the Alzheimer’s Association, also have support groups.
3. Ask for help. Don’t hesitate to ask professionals, family, or friends for support. You can’t do it all alone and stay healthy. Make a list of tasks to delegate and say a big “YES” when help is offered. It’s also okay to say a grateful “No, thank you” to offers that don’t support your needs.
4. Stay present. Practice mindfulness by pausing for ten to fifteen minutes a day to take deep breaths and center yourself. Consider keeping a gratitude journal or quietly savoring a cup of tea. Such practices promote calm and let you appreciate the small joys in life.
5. Seek awe. Awe happens with wondrous experiences—falling stars, fireflies, a birth, a cathedral, a song—that amaze and add new dimension to life. Make time for awe. You may find it in nature, music, art, and/or spiritual experience. Noticing and savoring such moments can refresh your spirit and help keep everything in perspective.

Is caregiving taking a toll on you?
The journey can be rewarding, but it’s also filled with challenges such as stress, grief, and exhaustion. At Compassionate Community Care, we can offer strategies to help support your emotional health. As the San Francisco experts in caregiver support, we’re here to help you find balance and strength in your role. Call us today at (415) 921-5038 to learn more.

If standing up causes dizziness for your loved one, even simple movements such as getting up from the couch or table can be unpleasant. The problem may be orthostatic hypotension (OH), also called “postural hypotension,” which happens when blood pressure drops suddenly after standing up from sitting or lying down. The resulting dizziness increases the risk of falls.

According to the Mayo Clinic, treatment should look beyond the low blood pressure to the root cause. Once the root cause is under treatment, you can help your loved one adopt some lifestyle changes to help prevent or manage their OH symptoms.

First, get a thorough diagnosis. Make the doctor aware of your relative’s symptoms. They may then run a number of tests for underlying causes. The list of possibilities is long and includes high blood pressure, diabetes, heart disease, and vitamin B12 deficiency. Each of these requires treatment. Also, some medications contribute to OH by lowering blood pressure. Common culprits include diuretics, blood pressure medications, and certain antidepressants. Have your loved one’s medication list reviewed for potential side effects.

Learn practical steps for ongoing management. After identifying the root cause of your relative’s OH, the doctor will likely suggest taking some self-care steps. Following are some commonly recommended lifestyle changes:

• Slow movements. Sudden upward movements can trigger OH. Have your loved one wriggle and stretch their legs and feet before getting up. Then sit up slowly, pause, and stand gradually. If they still feel dizzy, they should sit or lie down until it passes.
• Proper hydration. One of the easiest ways to prevent OH is to stay hydrated. Typically, this means drinking six to eight glasses of water throughout the day. Check with the doctor if your relative prefers other fluids. Limiting alcohol is also important.
• Compression stockings. Depending on the root cause of your relative’s OH, these could be helpful. They can improve blood flow and reduce OH symptoms by applying gentle pressure to the legs.
• Safe environment. Falls are a major concern with dizziness! Remove trip hazards such as loose rugs, keep walkways clear, and make sure there’s adequate lighting, especially at night. In the bathroom, install grab bars and use nonslip mats.

Being proactive and making small changes can improve your loved one’s daily life with OH.

Is dizziness making daily life harder for your loved one?
At Compassionate Community Care, we provide solutions to manage orthostatic hypotension (OH). As the San Francisco experts in caregiving, we can help you create a safe, comfortable environment for your loved one. Call us today at (415) 921-5038 to learn more.

It’s a common refrain and the bane of many family members: Your loved one is having trouble, yet he or she refuses outside help. This can put your relative at risk. But if the worst happens and things go south, it also ends up making more work for you. Doubly frustrating when you know it could have been prevented.

Rather than battling head on for acceptance, you might try a softer approach:

Build empathy. Ask your loved one what their concerns are. Just listen and try to identify the hot-button issue underneath the reaction:

• Is it an issue of cost? – He or she may not know about Medicare coverage or the actual cost of the service. Your loved one may also underestimate his or her financial resources.
• Is it an issue of control? – Fear that this is the beginning of the end in terms of living independently.
• Is it an issue of privacy? – “My home is my refuge from others.” Or concern about being judged for lifestyle choices.
• Is it an issue of pride? – “I don’t need a babysitter!”
• Is it lack of knowledge (or denial) about their health? – Some people minimize the toll an operation or disease is likely to take.
• Is it an issue of feeling loved? – “My family will take care of me.”

Validate feelings. All of these are valid reactions and worthy of exploration. You might start with, “I hadn’t thought of it that way. I see why you’re concerned….”

Explore thoroughly. Before problem solving, ask more questions. “Tell me more about that. It’s important that I understand.” The more your relative feels “heard” and the more you genuinely comprehend his or her issues, the easier it will be to work together to find a viable solution.

Is your relative resisting help?
At Compassionate Community Care, we frequently get calls from family members who want our help but are sure their loved one will refuse. Actually, we have had great success arranging a meeting with the older adult. Sometimes it’s simply easier for them to talk with a professional than to reveal concerns or vulnerability to a family member. As the San Francisco expert in aging well, we can help. Give us a call at (415) 921-5038.

Older drivers are generally more cautious, but also more vulnerable to injury during a crash. Good news: Keeping your relative safe on the road may be easier than you think. But it could require upgrading to a newer car. Choosing the right car features can improve safety, comfort, and ease of use—and reduce risk for your loved one.

Crash safety first
When assessing a car, review crash-safety ratings first. You can find ratings from the Insurance Institute for Highway Safety (IIHS) at www.iihs.org/ratings or www.SaferCar.gov.

 Advanced safety features to consider for common problems of aging

• Looking over the shoulder. Choose a car that’s vintage 2018 or newer, when backup cameras became standard equipment. Parallel parking assistance helps by displaying a video view of the back end of the car. It also can include guiding lines and even alerts when the car is getting too close to an obstacle. Blind-spot monitoring alerts the driver when cars are approaching from the rear yet may not be visible in the mirrors.
• Difficulty seeing at night. Find a car with LED headlights. LED light spreads wider and projects farther than previous light technology. High-beam assistance may help your loved one feel more confident using the bright setting because it automatically changes to regular when it senses an approaching vehicle.
• Arthritis and stiff joints. “Proximity keys” that unlock the car when standing close by remove the need to struggle with fishing out a key to grasp and twist. They also provide for push-button start as well as opening of side doors, hood, and trunk. Heated seats and a heated steering wheel can ease back pain and stiff hands.

Assistive devices. Consult with an occupational therapy/driver rehabilitation specialist before adding nonfactory parts, such as hand controls and steering devices.

If you or your loved one has concerns about whether they should still be driving, get a professional driving assessment.

Are you worried about your loved one’s safety?
At Compassionate Community Care, we understand the unique needs of older drivers and offer expert advice on choosing the best car options to enhance safety, comfort, and ease of use. Don’t wait—reduce your loved one’s risk with the right car features. Contact us today at (415) 921-5038. Together, we can make the roads safer for everyone in San Francisco.

We come into the world with an immediate need for touch—to feel safe and comforted. Touch is often described as our “first language,” and it remains essential throughout life. In our elder years, our other senses diminish (sight, hearing, smell, taste), giving touch extra importance. Think of your loved one: Has widowhood or isolation left them few options for physical contact? They may be experiencing “touch hunger.”  

The COVID-19 pandemic underscored the crucial importance of touch. Recall the poignant pressing of hands to windowpanes? And the “cuddle curtains” people concocted, adding sleeves to shower curtains so they could safely hug family members.  

Touch supports overall health. Research shows that friendly touch releases hormones that reduce stress and anxiety, bolster immunity, improve sleep and mood, and reduce pain. If your loved one has dementia, touch helps reduce depression and angry outbursts. Pets can provide similar benefits. Adding touch therapies and physical contact to your relative’s routine can significantly enhance their overall mental and physical health. (And are you getting enough touch?)

Ways to add gentle touch to your loved one’s life

• Offer a handshake or an arm for support.
• Give a meaningful hug when appropriate.
• Dance together, swing and sway just for the fun of it!
• Apply lotion to hands, arms, and feet. (Consider switching roles to allow them the joy of giving touch as well.)
• If a live-in pet is not an option, consider asking if there’s a pet therapy service in the area. Even robotic pets can offer many of the same benefits.
• Consider professional massage therapy, even just for head and shoulders or legs and feet. Many providers will come to the home.

Permission. Some individuals are not comfortable with spontaneous touch or may feel surprised. When initiating touch, ensure it is welcome by making eye contact, asking permission, and observing body language.

Are you concerned about lack of touch in your loved one’s life?
As the San Francisco experts in family caregiving, we at Compassionate Community Care understand that health and well-being are not just an absence of disease. Explore how we can help make a difference in your loved one’s life. Contact us at (415) 921-5038.

Perhaps you are looking forward to visiting relatives this holiday season. If your loved one has dementia, however, consider their condition a “third guest” with very particular needs to be addressed. Here are tips for a smoother visit:

• Leverage environmental support. Pack along your relative’s favorite mug, jacket, stuffed animal, or other comforting items. Also arrange for a quiet space away from the hubbub in case things get too chaotic for your relative.
• Stick to basic routines. Maintain your usual home schedule for sleep, bathing, and medicines. This conserves your loved one’s mental energy.
• Be flexible. If it’s a bad day or your loved one gets overwhelmed, be willing to bow out of event(s) and have quiet time.
• Prepare for disorientation. Put a sign on the bathroom door. Going out, put your name and mobile phone number on a card in their pocket or wallet, with a note about memory loss. Perhaps attach a Bluetooth or GPS tracker to their jacket so a mobile app can locate them if they wander off.
• Be watchful for agitation. If you see signs of edginess, take action to soothe and distract them early. Validate their emotions and move together to a quieter place. Try to identify the trigger. If it’s a sudden, extreme reaction (delusions, hallucinations), consider going to the ER. It could be a sign of a bladder infection or other painful condition.
• Forewarn family before the visit. Let them know what helps (routines, calm touch, quiet space, flexible plans). And not to take outbursts personally. Also, prepare them for what doesn’t help—for example, scolding or reasoning are not appropriate. Your family member will be doing the best they can!
• Reflect afterwards. If you come home enheartened by the trip, great! But if you return feeling tired and despondent, maybe it’s time to get more support.

Planning to travel this holiday season?
There are many ways to prepare ahead of time so your loved one is not overly challenged. As the San Francisco experts in family caregiving, we at Compassionate Community Care know strategies for easing the stress of traveling with a person with dementia. Give us a call at (415) 921-5038.