For most family caregivers, frustration and guilt are common, as is anxiety and resentment. These feelings are normal and reasonable under the circumstances. It’s not realistic to eliminate negative emotions. Caring for an ailing family member IS emotionally taxing, especially in the case of memory loss. But sometimes the negativity can feed on itself.

You can avoid amplifying a downer mood. According to stress and coping research, you can reduce your distress by concentrating on the ultra-present moment, the here and now.

To interrupt the cycle

• observe yourself. Practice noticing your thoughts and feelings. Get curious about your emotions. Explore them objectively, as though you were outside yourself. Your thoughts and feelings aren’t “you,” they are one part of your experience.
• identify your thoughts. We increase our own suffering when we allow ourselves to get stuck in “shoulda, woulda, coulda” thinking. Those “shoulds” and “if onlys” try to rewrite the past. They are a springboard to anger and depression. The “I wants” and “what ifs” focus on the future. They tend to prompt anxiety.
• acknowledge your negative feelings. None of them is wrong. Don’t judge them. They are temporary and will subside (as long as you don’t feed them!).
• accept what is. Life is a series of moments. This one may not be your favorite. But what’s happening right now is a done deal. If you simply allow it and don’t fight it in your mind, you’ll be that much less stressed.
• focus on the present. Stay out of the past and future in your thinking. Take a few deep breaths. Shift your attention to create room for something positive right now. Think of something that engages one of your senses: The taste of your coffee, the color of the sky, or the music on the radio, for example.

Repeat as needed to refresh your outlook!

Is caregiving dragging you down?
You are not alone! As the San Francisco experts in family caregiving, we at Compassionate Community Care work with countless families struggling with the frustrations of providing care for an aging loved one. We can help. Give us a call (415) 921-5038.

Even pre-COVID, many 90-year-olds adamantly refused to go to a senior center, saying they didn’t want to be around “all those old people.” (!)

Does this sound like your loved one?

Admittedly, the senior centers of the past tended to focus on bingo and crafts. These activities are of limited interest to the newest generation of older adults.

Happily, senior centers have been updating. Bingo and crafts are still there. But the upswing in technology use during COVID catapulted many centers into the 21st century. They had to update their delivery platforms so older adults could participate from a distance. They also revamped their offerings to appeal to the “younger old.”

• Relevant classes. These days you are likely to find Beginning Smartphone, Cyber Safety, and Zoom 101. Also, health and fitness classes such as yoga and tai chi. Zumba, a Latin-inspired dance-exercise, is a popular cardio workout. There are classes to stretch the mind—learn a new language, watch a TED talk and discuss the topic. Or take up a hobby such as photography, gardening, or painting. Some centers are hosting intergenerational activities for teens and seniors. Ever been to a team cake decorating contest?
• Transportation. Many senior centers sponsor field trips. Some to scenic places, others to the theater or music hall. They do the driving! This makes fun outings possible again for isolated individuals or those who are no longer driving. Also common are free driver programs. They help older adults get to medical appointments or go food shopping.
• Coffee, tea, and food! Some centers have opened cafés for coffee or tea, hoping to entice reticent seniors through the door. Another attraction is a low-cost or free weekday lunch. And some even feature “pop-up chef days.”
• Expert help. Medicare and insurance counseling are frequently available. So is help filing with the IRS at tax time.
• Volunteer opportunities. Many classes and programs are led by seniors. Your relative might enjoy pitching in as a helper.

If the person you care for has resisted the senior center, propose having a coffee if there’s a café. Or sign up for a field trip to the theater and go together. These are low-commitment ways to let them get a fresh sense of the center and overcome any outdated impressions.

Concerned about a loved one’s isolation?
COVID brought awareness of its hazards front and center. We at Compassionate Community Care have been impressed at the many ways senior centers stepped up to the plate. As the San Francisco expert in family caregiving, we encourage you to check out their new offerings. You (and your loved one) might be happily surprised. If isolation is a worry, give us a call at (415) 921-5038.

With summer’s warm weather, be on the lookout for dehydration in your loved one. The signs include confusion, fatigue, weakness, and sleepiness. Some people become dizzy and their balance is thrown off. Dry mouth, headaches, and muscle cramps are other symptoms of dehydration.

It is estimated that 20%–40% of seniors are dehydrated.

Getting them to drink more fluids is not always easy. Try these strategies:

• Offer foods that are high in liquids. Try juicy fruits and vegetables, soups, popsicles, jello, yogurt, or smoothies.
• Serve tasty fluids. Lend some zing to water by adding citrus or cucumber slices, fresh mint leaves or lavender. Offer broth as an alternative to sweets. Soda and coffee may only add to dehydration. And alcohol is definitely not advised. Water, milk, and juice are the safest. Talk to the doctor before using sports drinks.
• Promote the habit. Set a timer for reminders. Or google “hydration apps” for tracking assistance. Another tip: Drink a glass of water after every visit to the restroom. 
• Keep a lightweight pitcher of water out and handy. If you are visiting, pour yourself a glass and bring them one too.
• Address worries about incontinence. Provide incontinence products for reassurance in case your relative is limiting fluid intake for fear of accidents.

When to be especially vigilant
People with memory problems are at greater risk for dehydration. (They forget to ask for something to drink.) So are people who have trouble getting up and walking or are dependent on others to bring them water. Dehydration is very likely to happen if your loved one has a fever, nausea, vomiting, or diarrhea. Or if they exert themselves in the heat. Older adults who are constipated, and those with kidney stones, benefit from extra fluids as these conditions are linked with chronic dehydration.

If you are concerned about dehydration, ask for a medical assessment.

Is dehydration a possibility?
As the San Francisco experts in family caregiving, we at Compassionate Community Care notice that dehydration is often at the heart of common but concerning symptoms. Want help with eldercare? Give us a call at (415) 921-5038.

If the person you care for has dementia—memory or thinking problems from a condition such as Alzheimer’s, a stroke, or Parkinson’s—unpaid bills or a messy checkbook may have been your first sign that something was amiss. Certainly, in the later stages of dementia, your loved one won’t be able to manage their finances. But what about the in-between?

It’s tempting to simply take over once you discover errors. But being entitled to manage money and buy what we want is central to adulthood. Taking that away prematurely may spin your relative and your relationship into turmoil and may not even be within your legal rights.

Consider these strategies for respectful money management.

• Become power of attorney. Have your loved one legally allow you or another trusted person to make financial decisions.
• Protect their accounts. Put bills on autopay as much as possible. Freeze credit reports—used for opening new credit cards—on the three credit agencies: Experian, TransUnion, and Equifax. Ask vendors to notify you if a bill is unpaid.
• Block scammers. Create a fraud shield by registering your loved one’s phone number on the Do Not Call Registry.
• Provide some cash. Your loved one needs to feel empowered. This generation is cash oriented. Give them ten or twenty 1-dollar bills a week. Reconcile yourself that this “waste” is really an investment in their self-esteem.
• Set weekly limits on their ATM card. Especially if they are accustomed to doing their own withdrawals.
• Consider a monitored prepaid credit card. You set a monthly and per-purchase limit. The card will decline any sale if it’s over budget. Cards such as True Link Visa allow you to block certain vendors (liquor stores, casinos, online ordering, and phone orders). Some have settings to alert you if your relative is initiating a restricted activity.

Are you worried about a loved one with dementia?
As the San Francisco experts in family caregiving, we at Compassionate Community Care work with families juggling the twin needs of protection and autonomy. You don’t have to do this alone. Give us a call at (415) 921-5038.

Our main purpose is to provide our clients with compassionate, competent and caring caregivers to assist them with basic needs of personal care, light housekeeping, medication reminders, companionship and more. 

Caregivers are chosen to assist you by your plan of care and your disposition. We strive to make good matches because we want you and the caregiver to be comfortable and safe with each other. Our first goal is for you to be safe and get a caregiver who is qualified to assist you. Secondly, we want you to be able to have someone who can be relatable and lastly someone available during your timeslot. 

Our caregivers have been asked to maintain a clean and healthy environment for your and their safety. 

To best serve you, the caregiver is to come in and ask to use your phone to use the telephonic scheduling system. This provides you with accurate billing and payment of the caregiver. 

Communication: We know how important it is to be aware of the people who come into your home.  We will let you know either by phone or email of who and when will be available to you.  Our scheduling staff is on hand Monday through Friday 9:30 am to 6 pm for any additions or changes. We do have emergency coverage 24 hours a day 7 days a week; manned by our professional/managerial staff.

Another aspect of our services is consultation with our Aging Life Care Consultants (Geriatric Care Managers) who are professional RN’s and Gerontologists who work to help the client with the bigger picture of setting up and maintaining their quality of life.  We take a holistic approach to helping our clients maintain and improve whenever and where ever we can. 

Our ALC’s can assist clients with, but not limited to, the following services:

• Medical appointments and managing chronic conditions such as stroke, dementia, Alzheimer’s disease, heart disease, Parkinson’s, ALS, etc. 
• Assist with housing and care concerns, medication review/organization, arrange therapists for physical therapy, art and music
• Working with families with difficult behaviors and clients with dementia
• Assist with transitioning from house to an assisted living community
• Be the local person in case there is a crisis and family members aren’t readily reachable or unable to provide assistance
• Meet with clients on an as-needed basis, as there’s no set time frame for excellent care

Caring: Your care is our business; it’s important for us to fully understand your needs and wants. Please let us know your thoughts and let us work together to accomplish them.

Satisfaction:  We want to know how you feel and what is going well or not. We are open to feedback and will strive to improve. 

As we start the third month of the shelter-at-home order, we at Compassionate Community Care would like to recognize the hard work and dedication of our caregivers. As a healthcare organization, Compassionate Community Care has continued to operate 24/7 during the COVID-19 pandemic to provide essential services to the vulnerable and at-risk populations we serve. While these are challenging and stressful times for all of us collectively, healthcare workers, including caregivers, have been especially impacted by the COVID-19 crisis.

Despite the recommendations from the federal government about “physical distancing”, our caregivers must continue to provide essential services to our clients to maintain their physical and psychological well-being. The nature of the caregiving vocation requires caregivers to be in close contact with their clients for tasks including but not limited to bathing, dressing, grooming, and incontinent care. Thus, caregivers are constantly putting their health on the line to ensure clients receive the essential services they need for survival.

To mitigate the risk of transmission and keep our clients and caregivers as safe as possible, we at Compassionate Community Care are taking extra safety precautions. All of our caregivers have been informed, and are expected to adhere to the Centers for Disease Control (CDC) and Prevention recommended safety guidelines during the pandemic. Additionally, we provide our frontline workers with recommended barrier precautions such as masks, gloves, hand-sanitizer, and protective eyewear. Our caregivers are constantly reminded to wash their hands and to report to our administrative team immediately if they feel ill or exhibit cold or flu-like symptoms. Any employee who reports such information to our office, may not return to work until they have been properly cleared to do so.

Compassionate Community Care understands these are unnerving and challenging times for all of us. As we have done from the beginning, we will continue to monitor the COVID-19 pandemic to keep our caregivers informed and safe, and to be able to continue to provide the critical services our clients need and depend on.

Tips for Self-Care During Quarantine

The outbreak of COVID-19 has increased levels of stress and anxiety for most people. These are stressful and uncertain times for all of us. While it is important to stay informed about the pandemic, too much focus on media and news can increase fear and anxiety. Now more than ever, it is important to practice self-care. Self-care can mean different things to different people, but essentially, it boils down to engaging in healthy and fun activities that help you unwind, relax, and take care of yourself. Below is a list of self-care activities you can do alone, or virtually with family, friends, and your community.

1. Take a break from the news. This can mean tuning off of the television or radio for a few hours; not reading about the pandemic, or taking a break from social media. While it is important to stay informed about COVID-19 and ways to protect yourself, too much news all-the-time can be overwhelming and even harmful to your emotional well-being.
2. Take time for yourself! Take breathes, stretch, or find a quiet place to be alone or meditate. 

Here is a link to a 10-minute guided meditation you can do anywhere: https://www.headspace.com/meditation/10-minute-meditation 

3. Get physical! Go outside for a walk or jog, and some fresh air! If you are not able to leave your home, you can also engage in physical activities from home, such as chair yoga: 

While the shelter-at-home order remains in effect through the end of May, individuals are allowed and encouraged to go outside to exercise- while maintaining social distance orders, of course. Always remember to wear a mask and maintain a six-foot distance from people who are not part of your household when you engage in outdoor exercise. 

4. Get some sleep! Sleep is critical for biological processes and well-being, especially now during the pandemic. Sleep can help strengthen the body’s defenses, it can enhance mood and energy levels, and can mitigate some of the symptoms associated with depression and other mental health conditions. 
5. Get social! While you are discouraged from physically being with people outside of your household during the shelter-at-home order, you do not need to be alone. We are all in this together! Try calling a friend or family member to connect. You can also communicate with friends and family through video chat through platforms like FaceTime (if you both have an iPhone or Mac), WhatsApp, Zoom, or Google hangouts. Many people are playing games together; celebrating birthdays, and engaging in many of the activities and celebrations that are usually done in the company of others, online. You can also feel connected to your community through volunteer work. Helping your elderly neighbor by buy groceries for them or walking their dog; donating your time or money to your local food pantry; sewing fabric masks for your neighbors or healthcare workers; or donating or buying gift cards from your favorite local restaurants, are just some ways you can be connected to your community while sheltering- at-home. Here are more ideas on ways you can help: https://www.7×7.com/how-to-help-the-community-coronavirus-bay-area-2645591886.html

Source:

https://www.cdc.gov/coronavirus/2019-ncov/daily-life-coping/managing-stress-anxiety.html