In some families, money equals love. In others, it’s a measure of success. It’s often a sensitive subject, yet it should be discussed. Part of supporting your aging loved one involves understanding their thinking about money. After all, something could happen where you suddenly need to step in and manage the finances. You want to know as much as you can while they are still able to discuss their wishes.

Conversation starters. Ease into the topic rather than ask right away about account numbers and passwords. Here are a few ideas of how:

• Seek their wisdom. Showing respect for their experience may ease your relative into talking about money generally. For example: “You’ve been around the block. I’m wondering if you might share any financial lessons you’ve learned. What worked? What didn’t?”
• Open with a story. “Mom, my friend’s mother had a stroke and he’s had a heck of a time trying to figure out her finances. Things happen. You never know. It occurred to me it might be wise to . . .”
• Check out benefits together. The National Council on Aging has a free BenefitsCheckup.org website where you can find information on services for older adults. Try something like: “Dad, I thought we might go through this together. You may be eligible for help with medications, utilities, or healthcare.” Working together to save money is a great way to begin a money talk.  
• “What if’s.” “Mom, we might end up in a situation where I would need to pay the bills, say, if you were in the hospital. I want to be sure to do things the way you’d want them to be done. How would you want me to handle . . . ?”
• Share stories from the news. Perhaps there’s a new law that might be useful for your relative to know about.
• Talk about your own plans. “I was just preparing my living trust and power of attorney documents. I realized that I don’t know where your documents are.”

In the case of dementia. The sooner you have a money talk, the better. Your loved one needs to be lucid enough to express their desires and to sign legal paperwork.

Do you need help talking about finances with an older adult?
As the San Francisco experts in family caregiving, we at Compassionate Community Care know the subject of money can feel awkward or even taboo to discuss. Yet it is also important to be on the same page as your aging loved one. We can help facilitate these sorts of conversations and share insight based on our deep experience. Give us a call at (415) 921-5038 to learn more.

At the doctor or dentist, you have likely signed a HIPAA form “for your protection.” The federal Health Insurance Portability and Accountability Act restricts access to personal health information. This includes your medical conditions, test results, payment details, birth date, etc. This HIPAA protection helps ensure your personal information isn’t sold, leaked online, or even stolen.

On the downside, these restrictions might seem cumbersome when you’re caring for a loved one. The rules are such that healthcare providers have to be careful about sharing information, even with you or other family members. Here are some things to keep in mind:

• Your loved one can tell the doctor it’s okay to talk with you. Or they can sign a HIPAA “release” that names you as entitled to information.
• If you are a healthcare proxy and the power of attorney is activated, you have the right to your relative’s health information.
• Healthcare providers are allowed to disclose information to you if your family member lacks mental capacity to consent and/or if disclosure is “in the best interest of the patient.” However, providers are required to share only the “minimum necessary.”
• Similarly, information can be given in “emergency circumstances” or if your relative is not present to consent. But again, only if the provider deems that it is in the patient’s best interest.
• You are not required to keep your family member’s information private. You can provide information to healthcare providers without restriction. The doctor may not respond, but your input may be helpful for guiding care decisions.

To ensure access. Talk with your loved one. Ask them to sign a release form at the office or give the doctor verbal permission to talk with you. If you are their healthcare agent, give a copy of their advance directive to the doctor or hospital. That way, they know for sure that it is okay to share information with you.

Feeling HIPAA confused?
We understand that you want to support your loved one and that means being able to get important information from their healthcare providers. As the San Francisco experts in family caregiving, we at Compassionate Community Care have plenty of experience navigating the ins and outs of the healthcare system. Give us a call at (415) 921-5038 to learn how we can help.

You might think of shingles as “just a rash.” While that may be true for many younger people, the viral infection can have serious consequences for older adults. And given that the risk of developing shingles increases with age, it’s something you want to help your aging loved one guard against.

Shingles is caused by the same virus that causes chickenpox. The virus goes dormant in the body after infection. Decades later, as the immune system weakens, it can reactivate and cause a rash of very painful blisters. The most common complication is postherpetic neuralgia, nerve pain that can linger for months or even years, affecting mobility and daily life. Shingles also increases the risk of stroke or heart disease. When it affects the face, it can lead to vision loss.

Symptoms. Watch for tingling, itching, and a stripe of rash on your relative, usually on one side of the torso or face. They may also experience fever, headaches, and chills. If you notice these symptoms, seek out a diagnosis immediately. The sooner they begin treatment with an antiviral medication—usually multiple daily doses of a pill—the better.

Shingles is not contagious. But if someone who’s never had chickenpox touches the blisters, they could catch the chickenpox virus.

Preventing shingles. If your loved one is age fifty or older and hasn’t had the shingles vaccine, now’s a good time to talk about it. Called “Shingrix,” the two-part vaccine is over 90% effective at preventing shingles. Interestingly, a 2025 study found that people who were vaccinated were also 20% less likely to develop dementia over seven years. That’s good news!

Most pharmacies and doctor’s offices offer the vaccine. It’s usually covered by Medicare Part D and many private plans. Even if your relative has already had shingles—or received the older Zostavax vaccine—ask their healthcare provider about getting Shingrix.

Concerned about your loved one and shingles?
As the San Francisco experts in family caregiving, we know that you have a lot on your plate. Supporting your relative in getting vaccinated can protect them and help put everyone’s mind at ease. We at Compassionate Community Care can advise about preventative measures such as this one, and so much more. Give us a call at (415) 921-5038 to learn about our services.

While caring for an older loved one, perhaps you’ve been surprised to feel waves of sadness, a tightness in your chest, or sudden tears. You are grieving. It’s your heart’s way of beginning to let go, even while your beloved is still here. And no, you’re not jumping the gun. It’s a common phenomenon called anticipatory grief.

On the outside, you’re showing up every day, managing medications, making meals. But inside, you’re mourning the slow changes unfolding over time. Maybe your dad needs help with things he taught you how to do. Maybe it’s an inside joke your aunt’s forgotten. Future plans quietly disappear from the calendar. This type of grief is real. It’s valid. And it’s normal.

Experiencing anticipatory grief may feel confusing because nothing final has happened. Yet you may feel a deep, aching loss. Experts call it emotional rehearsal. Your heart is practicing finality. You might feel sadness, anxiety, guilt, or even moments of peace—sometimes all in the same day.

One of the most helpful tools for working through these emotions is talking about them. It might not seem like much, but sharing what you’re going through—aloud, in a journal, or with someone you trust—can bring relief. In fact, a study from the National Institutes of Health found that caregivers who talked about their experiences began to feel less bound to their role. They reconnected with who else they were—daughter, son, spouse, niece, friend. That shift made space for both grieving and loving.

Here are other ways to care for yourself during this time:

• Take short breaks. Breathing exercises or five minutes outside can clear your mind.
• Stay connected. Talk with someone who understands, or join a support group.
• Get rest when you can. Grief is exhausting. Let go of the to-do list sometimes.
• Drop the idea of “perfect.” You’re doing the best you can in a difficult situation.
• Create small joys. Music, photos, or a warm pet on your lap can lift your spirits.

This kind of grief may feel lonely. But you’re not alone—and such grief isn’t “wrong.” Taking care of yourself doesn’t mean stepping back. It means showing up with compassion and noticing the opportunities still available to both of you. Grief doesn’t start at the end. Sometimes it begins with love that chooses to stay present—even when goodbye is already on the horizon.

Overwhelmed with the emotions of caregiving?
Anticipatory grief might be just one of many feelings you experience while caring for a loved one. As the San Francisco experts in family caregiving, we at Compassionate Community Care know that this time of life can be very challenging. We can partner with you in caring, taking tasks off your plate so you can enjoy the time you have together. Give us a call at (415) 921-5038 to learn more. 

It’s natural to fear that a loved one with dementia may wander. In fact, 60% of people with Alzheimer’s get restless and head out the door. As a family member, you can’t be watchful every minute. But you can take steps to reduce the chance of wandering.

The many triggers for wandering include anxiety, hunger, delusions, sleep problems, or a need to use the bathroom.

For prevention:

• Maintain a daily schedule. Familiar routines are reassuring. Routine also helps you ensure that basic needs, such as meals and toileting, are consistently addressed.
• Keep your loved one occupied. Boredom is a common cause of wandering. A person who feels purposeful or engaged isn’t likely to wander off. Offer simple, repetitive activities, such as folding clothes or sweeping.
• Store keys and coats out of sight. Catching a glimpse of keys or outdoor coats and shoes can trigger an urge to go out. Keep them out of view.
• Put indoor locks on exterior doors. Install a slide lock up high or down low (out of the usual line of vision). NEVER lock your relative inside a building all alone. If there were a fire, they might be too disoriented to figure out a way to escape.
• Put signs on doors. A “Stop” or “Do Not Enter” sign can be effective on exterior doors. Similarly, “Bathroom” will help guide someone who is confused and simply can’t remember which door leads to the toilet.
• Build a fence around the yard. This allows your loved one some time outdoors without the worry that he or she will leave the premises and get lost.

Reducing nighttime restlessness. A dark room and a regular sleeping schedule with no daytime naps (or caffeine!) can help. Also, leaving water or crackers beside the bed can prevent a search for a midnight snack.

Is your loved one inclined to wander?
As the San Francisco experts in family caregiving, we at Compassionate Community Care know how worrisome this can be. But sleepless nights and vigilant days do not make for a pleasant life or effective caregiving. We can help. Give us a call at (415) 921-5038. We can do an assessment and make suggestions to curb those wandering feet.

Have you noticed that even a small negative event can grab your attention repeatedly over the day? Positive events, by contrast, rarely come back to mind. That’s human. Our brains are hard wired to pay attention to threats. But there are many benefits to savoring positive experiences. Even in the privacy of your own thoughts, reflecting on pleasant memories is an easy and effective way to increase your overall happiness.

Retraining our brains

As a family caregiver, you may find yourself focused on the things that aren’t going well. This zaps your energy. It also sets you up for depression, a common occurrence when caregiving. Fortunately, we humans can retrain our brains to notice the positive for a more-balanced assessment of our days.

Try this exercise

• Before bed, write down three good things that happened during the day. They don’t have to be big events. Just things that felt positive. Maybe a good conversation or a leisurely walk. Include a few details.
• For each one, also write down “why” it was positive. Knowing what uplifts you tunes you into future opportunities for positive activities.
• Take thirty seconds to relive or savor each memory. Close your eyes. Were there particular smells at the time? Sounds? Thoughts? Immerse yourself in the full memory of the event.
• If possible, tell others about the event over the next few days. The recounting of it helps seal it in your awareness.

Why it works

It has been said that “neurons that fire together, wire together.” The more memory traces you create of positive experiences, the more adept your brain will become at recognizing the positives. You won’t lose your ability to identify threats. But you will form more-accurate assessments of your life and increase your overall sense of happiness.

Does the positive elude you?
If finding the positive is difficult, it may be a sign that you could use some caregiving help. As the San Francisco experts in family caregiving, we at Compassionate Community Care understand that it’s a lot to shoulder. Give us a call at (415) 921-5038. Let’s talk and see what we can do together to bring more positives to your day.

If your loved one is homebound due to injury, illness, or recent hospital discharge, you might be surprised by how much Medicare can help. There are specific home health services that can happen right in the living room. Knowing what’s covered—and how to ask for it—is essential to accessing these services.

Skilled nursing care. If your relative has an intermittent need for skilled nursing care, Medicare can usually cover visits for up to three weeks (more if requested by the doctor). The “homebound” requirement means that it’s a taxing effort to leave home. Typical scenarios include recovery from joint replacement, wound care, or need for medication or treatment by IV. In addition, Medicare may cover medications, other supplies, and essential equipment such as a wheelchair or IV stand. All services must be provided by a Medicare-certified home health agency. (Note that home health care is different from home care, which Medicare does not cover.)

Rehabilitation therapy. Physical therapy, speech therapy, and occupational therapy are other Medicare-covered services that can come to the home. Again, depending on doctor’s orders, this is usually for a limited period.

Hospice care at home is a significant Medicare program. If your loved one has a serious illness and the doctor believes they may pass away within six months, hospice can bring support to both of you. Care includes nurses, aides, help with pain, and emotional or spiritual support. Grief support for your family is also covered.

Hospital at Home is a newer benefit. It lets your loved one get hospital-level care—like oxygen, monitoring, and daily doctor visits—right at home. But it’s not available everywhere yet.

You have to ask. Start by talking to your relative’s doctor or discharge planner. Ask, “What can Medicare cover at home?” Advocate as needed for services at home. You and your family member deserve the help!

Confused about what Medicare will provide?
As the San Francisco experts in family caregiving, we know that understanding Medicare benefits can feel overwhelming. Maybe you don’t know where to start or the right questions to ask. We at Compassionate Community Care can help you learn what support is available and advocate for your loved one’s needs. Give us a call at (415) 921-5038 to learn more.

If your loved one has essential tremor (ET), you know that they live with ongoing shakiness, likely in the hands or head. Early on, they may spill some coffee or have occasional trouble with their buttons when getting dressed. Changes that are distressing but not life altering. But as everyday tasks become more and more difficult, their quality of life can suffer. Fortunately, you can help them adopt new strategies to maintain their independence.

Adaptations. Adding weight to the tools of daily life makes them easier to control. Look for weighted dishes and utensils crafted specifically for this purpose. Or heavier writing tools such as wide-grip pens. Some people find that wrist weights add stability to the hands. With many options on the market, your relative may need to try a few different weights to find the right fit.

Also think in terms of helping your loved one modify tasks. Straws make drinking easier. Electric toothbrushes and razors are steadier. For easier dressing, opt for Velcro fasteners and slip-on shoes. If writing checks is difficult, have them switch to online banking and using debit or credit cards. Suggest a phone with large buttons or voice-activated dialing. Find a voice recording device they can use to make notes and lists.

An occupational therapist can offer additional guidance on tools, techniques, and modifications to make ET more manageable.

Lifestyle adjustments. Stress and anxiety can make tremors worse. And tremors themselves can often be stressful! Is there a relaxation technique that works for your loved one? Maybe it’s massage or meditation. Maybe it’s intentional breathing exercises. Avoiding stimulants such as caffeine is also wise.

Be sensitive to the embarrassment your relative may feel about their tremors, especially away from home. Offer a compassionate ear. Perhaps remind them they’re not alone. Joining an ET support group can provide important comfort and validation.

Unsure of how to help a loved one with essential tremor?
Of course, you want to help improve their quality of life. You just may not know where to start. As the San Francisco experts in family caregiving, we at Compassionate Community Care can offer insight to make living with ET easier. Give us a call at (415) 921-5038 to learn more.

Is your aging loved one navigating a big transition in life and you’re not sure what might help? Maybe they just moved to memory care and feel lost in their new surroundings. Or they’re recently widowed and struggling to find joy. Connecting them with an enrichment program might make a real difference. It would certainly boost their engagement in life, which studies show supports cognitive health. And it could be a win for you too: less worry and greater peace of mind, plus time for you to rest and recharge.

The objective of an enrichment program is to provide an older adult with mental, social, and/or physical stimulation. It might be a one-on-one arrangement or a group program. The activities could include anything from visiting a museum to simply enjoying music. The goal is engagement and connection. You can find enrichment programs at residential facilities, adult day centers, or through in-home providers. They might help with any of these issues:

Moving to a facility. Enrichment can ease this transition by creating new routines and feelings of belonging. Learn what activities are provided. If you are nearby, accompany them initially or ask a staff member or outside enrichment specialist to help. Reconnecting with familiar pastimes such as gardening or faith-based services can create a sense of normalcy.

Widowhood. Losing a partner can lead to feeling unmoored. Legacy projects or hobby groups are some ways to help process grief and rediscover purpose. Being part of something again—whether a group or volunteer role—can be deeply healing.

Dementia. As it becomes increasingly difficult to initiate and stick with an activity, your relative can benefit from a one-on-one or group program for stimulation and social engagement. They might be guided in doing a former hobby, looking at photo albums, or visiting a park or museum. A group program might include singing and games.

Anxiety or depression. These conditions can sap motivation. Being active is an antidote that can lift mood and provide a sense of purpose and accomplishment. Look for someone or a group your relative might join for nature walks, lectures, or musical events. Or a creative outlet: ceramics, painting, or photography.

Looking for ways to bring more engagement to your loved one’s life?
As the San Francisco experts in family caregiving, we at Compassionate Community Care understand that you want them to feel fulfilled­—and you also might not have the time and energy to devote to it. We can help provide support and a better quality of life for you both! Give us a call at (415) 921-5038 to learn more.

If your loved one recently received a diagnosis of cancer, you both may be feeling stunned, anxious, and overwhelmed. Here are tips to help:

Lay a foundation for the journey to come.

• Acknowledge emotions. Anger, sadness, and confusion are among the many normal responses. And, of course, fear. Encourage your relative to talk about these feelings. Listen openly. Consider suggesting a support group with others who have had a cancer diagnosis.
• Reassure them that you are in their corner. All cancer patients are advised to have a fact-gathering friend at medical appointments. Let your relative know if you can do this, or help find a trusted alternate.
• Ask how much detail is desired. Your loved one may want to know everything. Or may prefer to not know and defer to someone else for decisions. Let the medical team know their preference.

Take the first key steps.

• Get exact information. Ask the doctor what kind of cancer it is, its size, stage, and usual growth pattern. Learning will help restore a sense of control in this overwhelming situation. 
• Find the right doctor. You want a sense of teamwork with a doctor who listens and explains in words you and your relative understand. If this isn’t the case, switch.
• Learn treatment options. Get details about side effects and usual outcomes of potential treatments. Whether the desired results are likely or unlikely may determine the course of action.
• Consider a second opinion. Meet with a doctor specializing in your relative’s type of cancer.
• Be careful with the Internet. There is a lot of false information online. Only visit websites of credible organizations, such as the National Cancer Institute and the American Cancer Society. 

Encourage your loved one to stay connected with friends and engage in enjoyable physical activities and pastimes that bring them meaning. A sense of normalcy and purpose can provide balance during this rocky time. Also ask that they accept help with routine tasks, such as cleaning and cooking. Similarly, for yourself, be sure to accept help so you can pace yourself and go the distance as a caregiver!

Reeling over a loved one’s diagnosis?
As the San Francisco experts in family caregiving, we understand that this is a very big moment for both you and them. Getting the right kind of support can help everyone as they move forward. At Compassionate Community Care, we can provide information, coordinate care, and so much more. Give us a call at (415) 921-5038.